themaskedotter:

themaskedotter:

I’m crying because when my dad was eighteen he was going to join the airforce and then the night before he had a dream that Jesus slapped him in the face with a gigantic fish and asked him what he was doing and he woke up and thought, “Jesus is right what am I doing?” And that’s why my dad did not join the military. 

But really I probably wouldn’t have been born if my dad hadn’t been fish slapped in the face by dream Jesus and I can’t even

114,511 notes

antisocialblogger:

Nemo 33 by John Beernaerts, 2004

The world’s deepest indoor swimming pool is located in Brussels, Belgium. Its maximum depth is 34.5 meters, 113 feet, and contains 2.5 million liters of non-chlorinated, highly filtered spring water maintained at 30°C/86°F. The pool holds several simulated underwater caves at a 10 meter, 33 feet, depth level. There are also numerous underwater windows installed into several of the pool’s caves in order to allow outside visitors to look into the pool at various depths. The complex was designed by Belgian diving expert John Beernaerts as a multi-purpose diving instruction, recreational, and film production facility.

1,984 notes

Be careful who you vent to.
Realest shit I’ve heard all morning. (via itsthelesbiana)

36,401 notes

lanadelreycist:

those posts you find really funny but made by ppl you hate

image

242,409 notes


COMING SOON [speakers blow out] TO OWN ON DVD [children scramble for the remote] AND VIDEO CASSETTE [atomic bomb explodes in living room]

COMING SOON [speakers blow out] TO OWN ON DVD [children scramble for the remote] AND VIDEO CASSETTE [atomic bomb explodes in living room]

(Source: anchorsandmoons)

924,868 notes

ethiopienne:

the dialogue in this movie was instrumental in shaping my sense of humor as a child, i swear.

(Source: gerrymanderer)

269,116 notes

cecilyjeanne:

devil-whore-bitch:

They’ve got civilians trapped.

I love that while the avengers fought the aliens you also see them helping to evacuate people so they are safe. It’s not just fighting, it’s rescue as well.

YES THANK YOU! This was my huge and horrible problem with Man of Steel. No help. Buildings falling left and right. I just kept saying “There’s another 10,000 dead people…oooh, and another 10,000 right there!” And no one cared. It left me feeling a bit sick, actually.

(Source: bucky-thevampireslayer)

37,850 notes

Quick question for all of the people in the world with penises

rockhardpanda:

Why u gotta pee all over the toilet seat and not wipe that shit up I don’t understand why I gotta sit in ur piss whenever I wanna go to the bathroom just wipe up ur pee it takes three seconds or like aim ur dick at the giant toilet bowl instead of the seat when u pee please

10,100 notes